Every night nowadays, brings with it a certain chill that almost everytime triumphs the warmth in me.
The vulnerable side of me is thus exhibited helplessly to the dark. Not that I fear the dark, but the chill it brings with it, makes me drop all my guard.
Everytime the chill creeps into me with a queer slowness, it reminds me of some other-worldly warmth.
Mum.
Yeah, I finally struck the right chord. It may be really hard to think about living without your Mum, but its even harder to live the real.
And the Harder is what, I'm living. The real. Mum's on the other side of the state, with I being on one side, both being in different cities altogether.
Frankly, I always cherished the dream of living alone some day, without Mum and Dad. I even kept sayig about this to Mum. But she always snapped back saying its not so easy as it seems.
Now I know what she meant by that.
Everyday, until the sun sets, everything goes in its very right order.
But not after the sun down.
After that, the clock suddenly startsticking at an amazingly slow speed, the time goes past by with seemingly huge intervals and I grow from the quite to the quieter to the quietest in the room. And to add to all this, the wicked chill of the night.
This wicked witch of night was once a beautiful angel for me.
But not anymore.
Its like everyone enjoys watching snow sitting by the fireplace, and yet only the one in the snowstorm knows the deadliness of the frost-bite.
The fireplace is the very thing lacking for me.
I can't cuddle up in Mum's warm arms in a shivering chill. I can't even sneak by her side in the dead of the night after I've had a nightmare.
There's no one to caress my forehead to make go to sleep. There's no one even to so roughly wake me up the next morning from the same sound sleep...
I didn't know that I was going to end up in writing all this when I'd started. I didn't even know that this piece of parchment would get so wet and blotchy at some places... places where my tears have fallen.
But then, sometimes one really can't chalk things out.
Well, here comes the moon... She can't supply me with the same warmth as that of Mum, but looking at her atleast cheers me up.
As it is,
You never know what you've truly got until it gets missing...
I'm missing you, Mum,
I'm missing you.
